How Do You Feel When Others Fail?

Back in December, a striking cartoon appeared in the editorial section of the Commercial Appeal. The cartoon showed a couple sitting at the breakfast table drinking coffee. As the man was drinking his coffee, he was also reading the newspaper. On the back of the paper were big headlines telling of war, violence, and crime. Added to these headlines were others about the economic recession and its effects. As the man was reading all of this, he said to his wife, “Isn’t there anything in the news to make us feel good?” His wife responded, “Oprah is fat again.”

The cartoon appeared just a few days after Oprah had confessed what was already apparent to any casual observer—she had fallen off the diet wagon. According to her own confession, she now weighs 200 pounds.

I think an honest reader would have to admit that there is something about this news of Oprah’s fall from the ranks of the slim that gives us a perverse sense of pleasure. Why is it that we often see it as a good thing when bad things happen to others?

One reason is that, subconsciously at least, we see ourselves as being in competition with others in the course of life. In this class in which we are all enrolled, we think that somehow we are being graded on the curve. Whenever someone else makes a low grade, it greatly increases our chances of making a higher grade.

When others fail, it also relieves us of some of the guilt that we carry around. Take Oprah’s case for instance. Who has not failed in achieving their ideal weight and level of physical fitness? If someone as rich and famous as Oprah has also failed, it must mean that we are not such failures after all.

One pastor was asked how his church was doing. He said, “Oh, we’re not doing much, but, thank the Lord, none of the others around here are doing much either.”

Also lurking at the base of these feelings that we have is the old sin of envy. We often envy the possessions and attainments of others. Sometimes it goes beyond envy to bitterness. To see others fail has a way of bringing relief to these gnawing pains within us.

The antidote to these reactions in our lives is to take seriously what the Bible says about our relationships to others. Jesus said that we ought to love our neighbor as ourselves. Paul said that we ought to weep with those that weep and rejoice with those that rejoice. If we take these instructions seriously, then we won’t be rejoicing when others are weeping, and we won’t be feeling good when others are feeling bad.